Whoa! Sage Again!
by The Sage
Note: The publisher would like our readers to know that The Sage is a demented old gossip who enjoys ranting in the public forum. No rationale person could possibly take the advice or gossip seriously, even though The Sage claims to be someone who "knows all and tells all." Also, the visage of The Sage shown here is only representative. In fact, we have no idea if The Sage actually has a beard or appears contemplative in person.
©1997 911 Dispatch Services, Inc.
Dear Sage,
I'm the only person on-duty at the police station at night and don't really
feel all that secure. I'm not a sworn officer, but I feel I should have
more protection. What precedent is there for dispatchers carrying guns?
A. Oakley
Dear Annie,
Packing heat on-duty is trouble, in my opinion. First, your department should
secure your safety for whatever risk there is--fire, accidental injury,
repetitive motion, etc. If an intruder is a possibility, they should install
the necessary security arrangements, including video outside the building,
substantial and locked doors, intercoms, and bullet-resistant glass. Arming
you would reduce their obligation to prevent problems.
On the other hand, stun guns might be an option. They could serve double-duty--crooks who break in and co-workers who won't share their pizza! At my agency, we have the floor panels wired for 1,800 volts, sorta like the game "Battleship." We fire it off every once in a while to keep the sergeant moving!
Sage
Dear Sage,
What's your favorite part of dispatching?
Squealy
Dear S.,
It's many things: solving a really tough problem for a caller,
catching a crook who's eluded us several times before, satisfying my curiosity
about what happened over on Elm St. last night.
Other times, I just enjoy sitting still when it's quiet. The air conditioning,
electronics and other noise create a buzz, and I pretend I'm flyin' the
old airliner to Hawaii. It's like I'm at the controls of this giant airship
and we land at shift's end. After awhile, I actually feel some forward
motion while sitting at my console--hey, too much Echinacea!
Sage
Up or Down: I'm no genius, but I do read DISPATCH. So when a long-time stock analyst recently rated Geac Computer Corp. Ltd. a "strong buy," I wondered when this guy's luck is going to run out. As I recall, he was strong on OCS Technologies about the same time know-it-alls were dashing for the exits. As for me, my Dan Quail "potatoe" futures are doing quite well, thanks.
Dear Sage,
What do you do to relieve the stress after the job?
Mr. Muscle
Dear Mr. M.,
I've told the story of the dispatcher who practices primal screams out the
window on the drive home. As for me, I listen to a late-night, phone-in
advice radio station. The situations just have to be made-up, because
they're so weird. But it certainly puts my life into perspective.
Unfortunately, the radio station's FM signal doesn't make it over the hill.
The other night, at a particularly interesting part of the show, I pulled
over to listen before the signal disappeared. Within a minute, seven other
cars pulled in behind me--all dispatchers from other agencies who just came
off-duty!
Sage
Post Me: Speaking of Positron, they publish their own newsletter, too. But apparently it's too expensive to drop into Montreal mailboxes to send across the border to American customers. So Positron trucks it to Richford (Vt.), where they have a bulk rate permit. No more making fun of Canadians!
Dear Sage,
There is an old (woman) who I think has an aversion to reading material
of any type. She used to constantly put my 911 Magazine, APCO, and Dispatch
Monthly back in my basket after it was at the console for only a day or
two. Finally I advised her that there are actually other people interested,
please leave them there for at least a week and I'll take care of them.
So she has, until now. Another battle has begun.
I printed up your pages on the Do's and Don'ts of 911 off your Web site,
and posted them on back of the dispatch door. When I got there last night
they were ripped off. Just a little perturbed I was, so I made 10 copies
of the first page and retaped them to the door. I'm waiting to see if they
are removed Sunday evening. Then the crap will hit the fan. Do you have
any good advice or words to say to her? Pathetic how scared some of them
are of knowledge.
J.B.
Dear J.B.,
I was touched by your lengthy letter, which I couldn't print in its entirety.
You're right--some people see other's knowledge as a threat to their status,
either personal or professional. That's too bad, in a profession that's
based on all types of information. I sense you're someone who has the idealism,
energy and wits to be a good dispatcher, which may also be threatening your
co-worker.
Frankly, I'd be more up-front about your information distribution. If
it's important, distribute it to everyone with an "FYI" and your
name on it. Pretty soon everyone will recognize your potential, and that
pesky co-worker can fume all she wants--to no effect. As for the rest of
your letter: please don't give up on the profession. We need more like you.
Sage